♥ Friday, April 27
This is probably how i'm feelinq riqht now, it's 4.17AM, Friday niqht & I'm rather upset today. Pissed off, fucked up & sincerely upset. School sucked, rushed down in my 6inch heels forqettinq that my blister hasn't healed & there's a fuckinq pinup for Project3.
Had our usual classroom discussion & ended class. Stayed back until six only t realize that th entire class was cancelled because the school didn't want t waste resources & we were t be transferred t th morninq class, & Ivy's qonna be moved t Marketinq in block 3, was kinda upset because I'd believed that we were qonna be toqether as a qroup, 5 of us for th next 3weeks & beinq in a sinqle class of 5 would make life so much easier & faster. Early releases & better qrades & even last minute arranqements!
Was in a shit mood already havinq t move from oriqinal classes t qeneral office t sixth floor offices in my heated blisters & peelinq skin, extremely pissed off w th amount of shit calls I was qettinq in th midst of everythinq. Cabbed home, went t bed immediately, couldn't qive three fucks about anythinq else, tired, pissed off, upset. Nor do I expect anyone t come comfort me, afterall everyone's just qonna be like ohwow that's normal just suck it up bitch, well fuck you if you're thinkinq alonq that line, you don't fuckinq understand how stressful Project3 is & you never will.
Was supposed t celebrate Jerrold kor's birthday, Levi's birthday & accompany Gwen somewhere, told kor I had niqht class so they went in th morninq & cut th rest off my schedule, sleepinq's best. Or you could probably say I was waitinq for Boyf t qive me hints t qo over & accompany him, he didn't either, so yeah, went t bed since he said he couldn't come out after 8PM. Jumped into bed @ 8PM sharp, couldn't be bothered attendinq anymore birthdays.
ahqonq woke me up at 1+2~ w his stupid taiji aqain, not that i'm interested in fiqhtinq w lil qirls, like seriously, just qet a fuckinq life & keep your fuckinq pryinq nose t yourself. Was seriously pissed off when I answered th phone, was tired as hell even after sleepinq & all, wasn't interested in any fuckinq bullshit anyone throws at me, just die, seriously.
I actually went back t bed for awhile before Gabriel called, pissed th phuck outta me, didn't answer th damn fuckinq phone because I know i'm qonna be screaminq at him & he'd be so freaked out. & if you're wonderinq why th fuck I don't just fuckinq silent th damn device. You obviously don't know me well enouqh, I'm always on standby mode & if Boyf needs me urqently, at least I wouldn't be th piq sleepinq soundly at home, so fuck you all motherfuckinq spamminq cheebyes who flood my phone w calls, irritates th fuck out of me.
Seriously, this is how I'm feelinq riqht now; unstable, lost, empty, quiet, hopeless & needy. I'm in a hellova bad mood but seriously, I don't mean it that way, sometimes I just want someone t just disrupt my performance & let me just talk it out, just let all these nonsensical bullshits out, i'm tired of keepinq everythinq in, i'm fuckinq tired of keepinq it cool whenever you cunts qive me black faces, qive me attitudes, qive me shit t do, like have you ever thouqht about why th fuck I should even do all these shits for you quys? No riqht? You quys think you are th only ones, th best in th world, deserved t be treated like kinqs & queen, well quess what, you quys are just fuckinq pieces of cow dunq in th fields actinq like you're kinq of th field, just fuckinq die for fuck's sake. The world needs lesser overpriced shits like you. Next time you decide that Lori's qonna be your punchinq sack of th day, think aqain about your own worth before you come over here & qive me a hellotta bullshit t do. I can't be fuckinq bothered for honesty's sake.
& don't assume I'm talkinq bout you if I'm not, assuminq kinqs&queens you are.
Just fuckinq don't piss me off for awhile I should be fine by tomorrow. Should be, no qaruntees included.
