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♥ Wednesday, June 29

Wednesday, so this is how we live `

every week since i qot off beinq sinqle `

yeah yeah, i know i'm kind of pathetic `

it's been 3 weeks since i'm sinqle `

but from time t time `

i'd still think about him `

i don't really remember th contents of last niqht `

i was really somesorta boredmixedbroken inside `

i stopped stalkinq all my ex boyfs some time aqo `

so that couldn't be th main problem eh `

perhaps its because Matthew's leavinq for 5months `

i don't know, or maybe my brain just died `

so we partied for awhile `

& i qot really tired despite not movinq `

we were qoinq for round 2 when i fell asleep `

Damien drove all of us home `

i quess i really enjoy sleepinq in his vehicle `

i don't have hurtful dreams in there `

-yawn- `

qotta meetup w babe for another shoppinq trip tomorrow `

danq, she's sucha qood sport, helpinq out & all `

qotta prepare everyth tomorrow `

tut tut (; `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Monday, June 27

yay `

th first monday i really enjoyed `

quess what i did `

lets see `

i woke up at four `

went t old kallanq airport `

had dinner `

Mars called (; `

smiled for 5 minutes `

went back home `

& nao `

i'm qoinq back t bed ♥

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

i need t stop tumblrinq `

everytime i tumblr, memories come back `

&, i miss you more, -siqhs- `

my itouch's on random `

& this awesome sonq was playinq `

i only realized i started cryinq when it ended `

& to think i nearly, fully qot you off my mind `

Thinkinq of you ; Katy Perry `

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanqinq from a tree
I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed

You said move on, where do I qo?
I quess second best is all I will know

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinkinq of you
(Thinkinq of you, thinkinq of you)
Thinkinq of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spendinq the night
(Spendinq the niqht, spendinq the niqht)
Oh, I wish that I was lookinq into your eyes

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter
Like a hard candy with a surprise center
How do I qet better once I've had the best?
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test

He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!
(Taste your mouth)
He pulled me in, I was disqusted with myself

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinkinq of you
(Thinkinq of you, thinkinq of you)
Thinkinq of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spendinq the niqht
(Spendinq the niqht, spendinq the niqht)
Oh, I wish that I was looking into

You're the best, and yes, I do regret
How I could let myself let you qo
Now, now the lesson's learned
I touched it, I was burned
Oh, I think you should know!

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinkinq of you
(Thinkinq of you, thinkinq of you)
Thinkinq of you, what you would do
If you were the one who was spendinq the niqht
(Spendinq the niqht, spendinq the niqht)
Oh, I wish that I was lookinq into your, your eyes
Lookinq into your eyes, lookinq into your eyes

Oh, won't you walk through?
And bust in the door and take me away?
Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Sunday, June 26

Sunday `

yeah yeah yeah, while you quys are sleepinq `

awesome lori's back t parkway aqain `

my official last day ;'( `

smokinq & chillinq about on th railinq `

akid was disturbinq me aqain `

he asked me if i wanted t know another quy `

& i was like, whyyyyy... `

he said his friend wanted t know me `

& actinq like a real qentlemen, he said `

" oh cause i dont anyhow qive no. so i ask you first " `

i LOLed, & he continued w his friend askinq some nonsense `

" why you dowan qo jio her yourself " `

& actinq like a qentlemen he was like `

" oh cause she's xxx xxxx, impossible t be toqether one "

& i nearly fell down th railinq lauqhinq & whininq " nooo "s `

and when i was about t qo t my station `

th quy from ytd came down t disturb me too `

& akid was beinq cheeky `

he was like " cute riqht, pretty riqht " `

JFC, he kept me entertained, funnymax `

i just kept whininq & whininq everytime he passed by `

he's cute, i think i'm startinq t have a fetish for malays `

they're really funny `

come think about it, i'm startinq t miss eboi `

jokers, all of em `

too much t take, damn, i'm qoinq t miss their entertainment `

i miss th loadinq bay & everythinq back there `

finished work earlier & went back t loadinq bay `

akid left already, slacked around w th supervisor for abit `

& went home in preparation for th fuckedup niqht i screwed `

Round 5 `

i was qonna do my usual upsetletsdrinktilwedie stunt `

with whatever i've left in my bank `

one more week t payday & i was rather shaq `

i had 4 appointments to meet by today `

& i wasn't free th next, so i tried my buddhajumpoverthwall stunt `

aqain, IKR, save time, save efforts `

i know it's my fault i keep pushinq t th end of th week `

& everyth qoes, you're screwed `

so i stacked em & told all of em t meet me at cine @ 10PM `

reachinq cine at 1030, as usual lateness (; `

i had 3 different distinctive qroups starinq at me `

chilled w Ben, Sweeshy & Sionq for awhile `

& we decided t head down t lookers `

thouqh we weren't planninq on a thai niqht `

but kor already booked & opened some bottles ;( `

i felt fuckinq quilty, he didn't have t do all this `

but he did & i felt so fucked up & useless `

so we split into 2 cabs & off t lookers `

uncle & attica babe didn't want t stay in qeylanq `

moreover, 2 of th quys were underaqed & couldn't enter `

sianmax, so i went up 3 steps & had a look `

& we chanqed spot, it looked temptinq `

temptinq for a chillaxinq niqht `

quiet & peaceful thouqh it reminds me of sakura `

so we were like, where t qo, underaqed & quiet `

moreover a sunday niqht `

we suqqested liquid qold, so 3 cabs down t LG `

& fuck it, it was closeddddddd `

JFC this was too much t take `

Sionq & Sweeshy went home >;( `

see la, sunday niqht, FUCKYOUSUNDAY ~ `

i was planninq t qet Sionq drunk & spout some nonsense `

qet some videos & hot photos out from a sunday niqht `

-.- ruined niqht `

uncle & attica babe wanted noir, i was on for it `

one more niqht wouldn't hurt `

but kenji was in berms, jesus -.- `

so i had this fuckedup idea, mustafa `

fuckedup place, so troublesome `

qot his pants & babe called me `

she told me noir was closed, fuck `

cause it's sunday niqht & they chilled for awhile `

kor & i were really sian already `

so we planned for haji lane `

sheesha & qrab a bottle or 2 of beer `

chill th entire niqht, qrandpa & CM came `

babe & uncle went home `

dissappointinq niqht, really `

thank qod i chose t wear a spaq & shorts `

& not a bloody partyinq dress `

so we went over t haji `

& i was thinkinq, where should we qo `

i was thinkinq about allazaq, but i'm really sick of it `

& merdandy stood tall & qrand beside `

beinq me, i like tryinq new stuffs `

i havent been there before, but when i went up `

i was like, Ohmyqawd, JFC `

it was th same outlet i visited th first time i sheesha-ed `

i couldn't find it before, i went all round lookinq for it `

but i never bothered tryinq out this shop beside my usual `

some thinqs just turn up when we least expect them to `

i was elated, ttm, comfy, th feel of home `

& we started our niqht, after 3 hours of cabbinq around `

they were enjoyinq th niqht w some qames `

i was watchinq a thai movie w alan `

qot some food & chilled `

& i fell asleep on th comfy area w Kenji on my ass `

LOL, no, he slept on my ass w lots of cushions `

i don't even remember what th rest were doinq `

i just feel really sorry t my mates `

& attica babe, uncle qary & qrandpapa & kor `

& th most quilty ; sorry alan `

time's qold, i know, but lil qirl like t push last min stuns `

scusca ; kor thot ; 对不起 `

promise it'd not happen aqain `

but i quess, at least my sunday niqht had some fun `

Some, lauqhs `

qonna sleep naoz `

finally it's monday, monday has never been better `

a lonq awesome restinq time ♥ `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Saturday, June 25

Saturday `

while th quys slept in, skipped work `

i'd a few decent hours before draqqinq my ass t parkway `

probably my last day here, slacked for abit w akid `

he told me as well, stands were only 2 weeks `

so it'd probably be my last day here `

i'd miss everyone, 2 weeks; 4 days `

everyone's so sweet over here `

i slacked throuqhout th day `

walkinq from stand t stand `

was really tired, especially th muscle cramps `

they were killinq me badly `

work ended soon, th quard smiled at me (; `

this cute quy, he saw me walkinq t th office `

& he ran over, & said, " you're soooooo beautiful " `

i was feelinq really tired & said " Like real " `

i lauqhed & walked back, he was cute, i was mean `

but that really made my day at work (; `

lookinq at my uniform & lonq pants, ohqawd, purlease - `

Attica aqreed t continue our niqht today (; `

but it'd be all th way toqether toniqht `

i was planninq t enjoy til morninq `

Kenji joined us for th niqht, th 3 of us `

it was rather mild at first `

but th niqht soon qot really hawt ♥ `

Kenji was th usual Stoner `

Attica & I were doinq qood on our own (; `

havinq our own drinks in hand, my whiskey & her jaqerbomb `

most awesomely, i ordered a corksuckinq cowboy for kenji `

next time it'd be 2 slippery nipples ! `

shots shots shots shots shots shots ! `

i quess th funniest thinq was mani `

we were shakinq hard near th entrance when mani pulled me over `

& th waka waka sonq was played `

he did th wakawaka dance w me & i couldn't kept up `

day 3, i couldn't manaqe `

at least th quys had rest, i didn't ;( `

& they dumped me with him halfway ! `

thank qod he left for another club early `

i didn't want t be spinned for hours t come `

i'd have died, hilarious, kenji kept teasinq me bout it `

mani mani mani -.- `

Gary Uncle soon came by `

it was really near his location anyway `

so we metup, him in his berms `

berms weren't allowed in noir, sickeninqly `

but i knew he was really dissappointed `

so i qot Kenji t chanqe bottoms w him `

moreover kenji's a real stoner `

uncle's one sexy dancer `

& we went in toqether `

Uncle was really surprised i quess, judqinq th look he qave me `

me & attica, heh, we were up t some old tricks `

we didn't care, i qot her t qet upstaqe w me `

& uncle was left alone below `

so i qot him up t dance w us qirls `

there were about 7 of us upstaqe (; `

it was fun, hilarious & hawt `

th qirls were really hawt & sexy tht niqht `

but uncle qot me downstaqe, hmph `

end of th fun & back t th dancefloor `

he did his techtonick & us qirls, we did our stuff `

we had fun, Traven pulled me over `

& we danced for awhile `

then he pulled me over t ChinaOne for another dance `

it was fun to th very max ! `

speedymax, pulled me up, chopchop & in `

but i kept thinkinq about babe & uncle at noir `

so after 15 minutes i went back `

ha , babe dissappeared thereafter `

th bloody quy took her away from me `

he was th JOKE of th day, i swear `

so uncle & i continued for awhile `

before chanqinq back into berms `

we decided t chanqe spot `

walked around until boat quay `

i wanted t qo back t jab 1 `

but it was closed & we were rather tired `

i was havinq bad muscle cramps, all Traven's fault `

so yeah, went for a drink & some food at th 24h `

uncle came alonq soon enouqh & we decided `

hey, lets take a short break `

so we went over t th riverside & chilled `

i've no idea why, we kept walkinq after awhile `

we reached my usual hanqout aft butter `

& i was like, omqqq i havent been here for like, qod knows when `

-lauqhs- so we sat down & had more drinks `

talkinq about " back then " , i just realized how much i needed them `

th fruit of my labour, jesus `

what was i thinkinq when i had my previous breakup `

-.- uncle's riqht , uncle , rak ter makmak ♥ `

prove t me where your loyalty stands `

& you'd have what you deserve `

i love my uncle , he knows what i'm thinkinq, always `

he just keeps remindinq me of tht particular niqht `

when i was terrified & called him cryinq at 3AM in th morn `

he can't drop it, meanass `

but he's that one & only uncle in my life `

he was like commentinq `

" NIECE ! everytime you intro me t ppl, they think i'm your real uncle " `

& i lauqhed & said, qood what, at least we're that close (; `

qot th balls t tell ppl you're my uncle `

i'm qrateful, for th day, i decided t have a qan daddy `

who brouqht me into th clique of Manjusrians `

i had a new qirlf t accompany me `

one of th only 2 men i've ever, truly loved `

a qan erzi, & my one&only uncle `

uncle's riqht, we should really qet toqether someday aqain `

w everyone else, i miss everyone `

we went home soonafter, Round 5 tomorrow `

♥`

P.s - thanks uncle maomao, niece loves you `

thanks for beinq there throuqhout th tears, swearinqs `

complains & every sinqle thinq you've ever done for me `

thanks; you're one in a million `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Friday, June 24

on th way t town `

formal couple ♥ & Lori XMM `

i only qot one shot at town w my quys `

this is my awesome lil brother & qirlf ♥

hittinq th clubs ♥

♥ quess what `

i was late ! ` (;

was supposed t open doors at 10;30AM `

but i only woke up at one `

Sarine came over after i woke up `

she qot chanqed into her dress & i spent time lookinq for mine `

i was all prepared t qo in that awesome purpledinnerdress kelvin bouqht `

& ♥Girlf texted me, sayinq baby's qonna come over as well `

i qot all worked up & chanqed back into shorts `

how queer ! th quys've never seen me in dresses before `

& it's definitely not qonna be th first time today `

so i chanqed into a cute flair top `

i feel younq aqain LOL, w slippers & shorts `

Sarine darlinq could be my Jiejie ! `

we went down after an hour & half ^^ `

happyqirls look best, well, i looked like a lil qirl today `

but it's okay, everyone wore formal except me `

cabbed t takashimaya t start their towntrip `

was kind of in a rush, considerinq i'm meetinq qirlf & co. later `

Attica babe texted me halfway, sayinq she's in town too `

& she'd come over & meet me (; `

since we're qoinq clubbinq toqether that niqht `

have some shoppinq trip first `

went for around for abit before babe arrived `

had lunch & qirlf&baby arrived `

i was dumbfounded, baby lost so much weiqht ;'( `

but baby qrew so much fitter ! `

he's qot a hard chest & fit arms `

& his voice became so man 有没有 ! `

i totally forqot i had a dinner date w my quys `

until qirlf reminded me `

went around shoppinq for a bit toqether `

babe & qirlf qot on well (; `

split up halfway w Sarine darlinq `

i followed qirlf & baby, babe went w me `

qirlf wanted t have a look at birkenstock `

babe & i kept sayinq brokenstock, it was hilarious `

qot some chocolates & went t ION t start shoppinq `

th stuffs were more or less th same `

we qot some nonsense `

& pathetic ole me, only qot a pathetic pair of heels `

was really considerinq th ones from Guess `

it's a leopard printed heels at 85 , cheap for Guess `

but i was still thinkinq about th Charles&Keith pair `

so we walked around & round `

clothes & everyth `

until we went back t Charles & Keith `

th lovely ladies decided for me `

Attica's riqht, brandinq isn't important `

moreover i needed a replacement for my stripperheels `

i couldn't find an exact replica, nor th oriqinal `

sold out, thanks t Matthew `

pricinq wise, both would be about th same i quess `

th Guess one was cheaper then th C&K `

but, when someth catches your eye, qet it eh ? `

so i qot th 89 pair, C&K `

happymuch, continued shoppinq `

th ladies qot some stuffs & lil sister & lil brother arrived `

baby looked really bored `

th quys were complaininq about their hunqer `

but Lori's not done shoppinq ! `

it was nearly ten & qirlf qot herself a watch `

she told us t have a look `

after lookinq, i thouqht i'd qet someth nice for lil sis `

th entire shop was filled w qirly stuffs `

yet only one bracelet qt my attention `

it didn't suit my skin color `

but it was beautiful on lil sister `

so i qot it for her (; `

i think she's so cute, kept sayinq no `

& another pair of rose earrinqs ended our day `

was supposed t meet Attica at eleven `

but th quys wanted dinner before qoinq home `

we went over t cineleisure `

they wanted t have xinwanq, so yeah `

had dessert & chilled for abit before qoinq home `

qirlf was really sweet, she was qoinq t accompany me for th niqht `

for i was really scared i'd be weird in le noir `

babe's friends were cominq alonq & i wanted company `

-lauqhs- pathetic huh, so Kenji joined us as well `

bathed, chanqed & off t Le noir `

i had a hard time pickinq what t wear `

i wasn't prepared lauqhs, thank qod qirlf came over `

she chose for me what i was qoinq t wear `

i'd have literally died if she didn't `

was brain dear lauqhs, teehee ♥ `

Le Noir `

it was my first time here, considerinq i dont patronize CQ clubs `

but it was seriously amazinq, especially w babe around `

it was one of th best thursdays ever ! `

th niqht ended early `

qirlf, Kenji & I had t work early shifts th followinq day `

so we sent qirlf home, had one last stick, & klub ban ♥ `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Thursday, June 23

Random; she's my babyqirl ♥

Round One `

finally started enjoyinq my holidays `

metup w Sarine darlinq & kor at buqis `

She brouqht her lil brother alonq; how cute `

reminds me of my own lil brother a hell lot `

lil brother was t meet me after his school ended `

even thouqh he didn't want to (; `

cause i know i'd be busy til sunday `

& brinqinq him out for a bit'd do him some qood `

was intendinq t continue my shoppinq spree today `

but there was nothinq much of interest t me `

thouqh th Manqo's queue was 10times shorter than vivo's `

really had lil time around w Sarine ;'( `

they decided t have dinner at Ajisen's & back t AMK `

Sarine wanted t have a few rounds at pool `

so awesome Lori accompanied her over (; `

darlinq went home early `

lil brother went for tuition ;'( `

so kor , xiaoD & i metup w qrandpapa & cheemenq `

we were bored & couldn't qet enouqh of enjoyment `

went over t liquid qold & had a few drinks `

lots of ciqarettes & truckloads of bullshit `

lil bro & qrandpapa were th sex `

they kept me entertained all niqht lonq `

they sanq, they danced, they ran around & about `

me& cheemenq watched in hysterical lauqhter `

qeez, kor joined them, sinqsonq, shakeshake `

funnymuch, th fun ended soon `

went over t Mac for their beibeimian supper `

& homed (; `

wonderinq how i'm qoinq t wake up tomorrow `

qotta meet my darlinq at 10, comfirmed sleep in `

(; teehee `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Tuesday, June 21

i'm really tired, mum says i enjoy torturinq myself `

can't help it eh, so i packed my stuffs `

dumped every sinqle thinq that irked me today `

about an entire sack of junk, history `

love letters, previous qifts & hurtful bullshit `

candified junk & expired stuffs `

lots of separated & broken jewelry `

nail art kits, perfumes & bank receipts `

oh well, but i found lots of meaninqful stuffs too `

i found a necklace i wore for an entire year `

a qift he bouqht for me last christmas `

old photos & lots of rinqs `

wasn't planninq on qoinq on, dizzyspell continued from last niqht `

but i already promised t help lil brother out on his job `

so yeah, mum asked me t qo for dinner w biqbro `

& we went over t RP; interestinq much `

considerinq that i've never been t RP, desiqnwise; hmmm `

looks more like miniature office buildinqs t me `

funny, i used t think all polytechnics were th same `

chanqe of mind riqht naozxc `

went over t houqanq t qet my OCBC done `

troublesome max, but at least i qot it done `

at last i've th fuckinq time t finish up `

qot another dress & some nonsense `

more books & went home `

was planninq t do my usual oh-i've-fallen-asleep stunt `

that way, i wouldn't have t qo back t houqanq `

but poor lil bro was whininq about his pathetic sales `

so yeah, awesome jiejie went down t save his ass a lil `

finished up within an hour or more `

sent him home & back t senqkanq `

life's borinq when you're sinqle `

thouqh i'm enjoyinq sinqlehood riqht naoz `

urqh, everytime i;m attached i miss beinq sinqle `

& everytime i'm sinqle, i miss havinq someone `

oh well -.- `

One more week t POP oh ! ♥ `

baby i miss you so much, you know anot ! `

faster, see me throuqh this breakup `

keep me standinq, 5 years & still countinq ♥ `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Monday, June 20

Monday Monday - `

i hate Mondays, Mondays are stupidly blue & borinq `

still qettinq over yesterday's conversation `

was rather bored today, so i followed mum t collect her camry `

she's so funny, PS, my parents don't know how t sit public transport `

so we went over t th roadside t hail a cab `

& she thouqht i was weird, & i think she's th weird one `

went over t buqis for shoppinq today `

couldn't think of anywhere else i'd like t qo `

moreover i had plans on qettinq stuffs `

qot myself a replacement pair of heels for work `

about 2 tanks, 2 translucent pieces, another leather jacket `

a suitable corset for clubwear & more hotshorts `

another transparent hello kitty shoulder baq & pillows ♥ `

& a few accessories & nonstop random items `

went back home t pick biqbro up for dinner `

i had this cravinqs for seafood `

so we went t chanqi villaqe & had my seafood `

i'm qettinq fatter, but at least i'm eatinq \(n_n)/ `

i'm not done shoppinq yet but everyone's so tired `

& i kept havinq this dizzyspell after th shoppinq trip `

sent mum home & went t qet dinner for lil brother `

he never eats while workinq, poor thinq `

slacked for abit before leavinq th area `

homed, & qot everyth done & sorted out `

& watched another movie; th tourist `

well, that's what i used t do, like a year aqo `

when my ex boyf was in camp & all `

i qot bored but, self control & not allowed t club back then `

spent my niqhts watchinq movies, talkinq on th phone `

decent much, qonna turn back, it's safer & more secure `

-lauqhs- , what th heck `

but it's a really nice movie, qreat twist at th end `

thouqh i think oriqinal sin's way better `

oh qeez, bed time ♥ `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Sunday, June 19

Sunday `

another Sunday, didn't want t wake up `

i was dreaminq about him aqain `

some wishful dreams, qeez, i didn't want t wake up `

mum forced me t wake up for work ;'( `

i would rather skip a day at work `

& continue my lalaland dreaminq w you `

-siqhs- `

reached on time, but i spent some time at LB `

smokinq w th quard over there `

thinqs at qiant are so different from NTUC `

i swear NTUC's way better `

sales sucked , my pool session cancelled `

& here i am, talkinq t my bro online `

he's just sittinq infront of me `

-lauqhs- `

- Ps , qet off my mind, love another `

& release me from this chains of lonqinq for you `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Saturday, June 18

saturday `

what a fuckinq wasted day, qeez -.- `

had t work today, not that i wanted to `

considerinq my contract ended `

but boss told me to, so yeah, i went t PP t work `

retarded much, it was a rather, entertaininq day i would say `

& slacky much i quess, i don't like PP, th old memories `

thinkinq back, i last visited th area a year aqo `

back then, i came for half an hour `

just t qet a phone from Eric, he's no lonqer workinq there `

miss him makmak, friends since pri 2 (; `

life's qreat, work ended soon, biqbro fetched me home `

Daniel kor & th rest came as well `

back t senqkanq & damien came over t meet me `

awesome lil brother i have, IKR (; `

everyone came over & slacked for abit while i bathed & chanqed `

went down t qeylanq for lateniqhtsupper `

we went t yonqhe, haven't been there for a month `

& BBQ after that, probably one of th worst incidents ever `

since i was fifteen, i've been walkinq around qeylanq `

more of explorinq & enjoyinq life as a teen `

so for th first time, this motherfucker, stared at me at th BBQ stand `

i swear i freaked out, he was starinq so hard `

machiam like an xray machine, pissed me off badly `

& after some time, i looked away, yet he continued his stare `

i started t freak out, i felt fuckinq, insecure `

then he asked, " you sinqaporean ah ?! " `

& i was like qeezfuckz , " fuck yeah , anzua eh " `

he was like -continueXrayinq- , " cause you look like thai qirl " `

& i was like " is that so, i don't think so " & i walked super fast back `

i was so scared, first time kana -.- , everytime qo also bo taiji `

sick pedophile, red liqht district don't mean everyone is kui you know `

i kept quiet all th way t punqqol beach, freakedoutbadly `

spent some time there before qoinq home `

thanks for th company Daniel kor, biqbro, JH, xiaoD & JC `

that's what happens t a lonely lori on a lonely saturday niqht `

P.S - i feel so insecure about myself without you -

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Friday, June 17

On MC aqain `

-siqhs- , i quess i already know my results `

no doubt, i failed th fuckinq module, beinq sick for half of it `

2 weeks straiqht, double MC, 3 weeks not beinq for class `

i'm very tired, very broken & dead `

i finished up my finals for MTPre & wrote a reflection for th other `

with full unvalid reasons towards my failure in th subject `

-lauqhs-, ben's riqht, i won't make it to year 3 `

as lonq as i don't let suhan down, pass MTPre `

i promised t work hard next year `

so i handed up my stuffs `

& off t vivo i went, shoppinq t calm myself down `

retarded max, but yeah `

walked around for abit, i didn't check in `

but i had a few of them textinq me , claiminq they saw me `

i was elated yet, filled w reqret at th same time `

-lauqhs- elated for someone remembered me `

it's been 2 - 3 years since we last talked `

yet he recoqnized me, & we haven't met before `

filled w reqret cause i was in one of my slackiest outfits `

PS , i shop in slippers, spaqhetti & shorts `

not your usual retarded oh-so-qlam outfits `

qeez, paisae much, & some calls `

qot about 6 tops , a few accessories with much discount `

thanks kelvin ! it's been 5 years, you don't remember me `

but i remember you, but thanks for th major discounts `

i appreciate it, & no, NS is not fun `

so i left earlier, beinq tired & all `

i miss you quys so much, you quys just didn't know ! `

homed & baby called me `

i havent seen baby for weeks, a month at least & imhsm `

he wanted t meet up but i said i wanted t rest for awhile `

i fell asleep til th next morn in th end `

baby met up w biqbro & xiaoD `

they slacked (withoutme,upsetmuch) `

& yeah, that's about it `

qonna continue shoppinq soon `

everyone's cominq back t me aqain `

qirls & boys alike, but non of them called you `

i feel incomplete `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Thursday, June 16

Submission day for both modules `

i'm on MC aqain ;') `

i fell asleep throuqhout my overniqht rushthrouqh `

i woke up on my mum's bed on Yudish's call `

he called me at 9;30AM , i was seriously asleep `

i was totally blank, didn't know what t do `

went t th doctor's jus below `

had t visit, sick & tired of this `

continued sleepinq `

-siqhs- `

qet over it bitch `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Tuesday, June 14

Tuesday - `

i'm rushinq for a major deadline i'm bound t fail `

i know it myself, considerinq th amount of time i've left `

i'm not feelinq well either, so how t pass eh `

i'm tryinq t finish up everyth in time `

-siqhs- `

Ebenezer called me today `

he's really that sweet `

probably one of th only true poly friends i'd ever find `

cruel, realistic & skeptical world `

he always calls at th end of submission `

askinq if i manaqed t finish my work & how i'm doinq `

he prayed for me, on th phone toniqht `

i cried somewhere in between `

i was deeply touched, a devoted christian, prayinq for me `

who am i, no one but a qirl you met last year `

thanks Ben, for beinq so nice, reachinq your hand out t me `

especially at times of need, breakups & falls `

watchinq me throuqh 2 breakups `

pullinq me back up despite all th messed up timetables `

thanks for beinq there `

you're so sweet sometimes, -siqhs- `

thank God for brinqinq such a sweet younq man into my life `

i'm so tired , i need a doctor `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Monday, June 13

13th June, woke up sufferinq from a sliqht hanqover from last niqht `

i didn't drink much but i'm just, very tired i quess `

late for school, went at 4 only t receive some warninq letter `

qeez, walked down & met qwen for 2 hours t rant about everyth `

talked about droppinq out & considered th options left `

just feel th pain from a week aqo, it haunts me; still `

went home after that, prepared for th niqht `

wasn't really interested in whatbullshit " hello kitty event " `

-.- but since i promised & everyone was tryinq t psycho me `

i went, bouqht a bottle of martell & headed down t PH `

was in a hell of a bad mood, forqot t brinq IC `

ppl pushinq me to do retarded thinqs `

its like, hi, i'm not in charqe today `

so we went t qet our stuff, & back t drinkinq `

met Amelia & her friend halfway `

told her what happened throuqhout `

& she actually chanqed my perception on this previous relationship `

& there i qo, sittinq there, thinkinq " what th fuck was i doinq " `

she's riqht, i need a chanqe in my life `

-siqhs- fucked up niqht `

th quys came in late, was tired, stiff & Mot Arom `

no one wanted t move t th dance floor `

relationship problems, a stolen zippo `

tired early, school th next day `

qeez, miqht as well stay home `

but alriqht, at least qwen was there t dance w me for a moment `

hmmm, homed at 6 plus 7 `

couldn't sleep then, kept thinkinq of Amelia's words `

she's riqht, i just sat on my bed for half an hour thinkinq `

is this th end? or should i just try `

everyone's tellinq me not to `

but hey, i don't care about what you quys think anymore `

just so you know, some of you are really selfish `

i'm not qoinq t be here for you quys forever `

& just because i'm willinq t do alot for you quys `

doesn't mean i've to sacrifice my relationships one more time `

i miss you , hais `

really, really do `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Sunday, June 12

last day of my contract at work `

yayness, kinda happy `

uqly uniform, fucked up manaqement `

boss is qreat, but where i work, th manaqement isn't `

honestly speakinq, i practically slacked th entire day `

Wilberlyn came over & spent half th day talkinq t me `

& i spent th remaininq time at loadinq bay slackinq w eboi `

or walkinq all over th area, but i did my sales still `

was really tired, but it's my last day there `

& i'm qoinq t miss everyone ;'( `

packed up & smoked at bay for an hour `

went home, qot my stuffs & off t liquidkitchen t find qwen `

she was w her friends, they're really funny&friendly `

pooled, drank & stayed around for a bit `

went over t meet eboi at 1AM `

& he drove me over t Pasiris park for a drink `

sounds retarded but i really couldn't qet t bed `

drinkinq seems t be an option t me `

we drank, we played arm wrestlinq & all th nonsense `

he qot drunk first \(n_n)v winner `

-lauqhs- so i just talked everyth out `

& he was too drunk t drive back `

so we nua-ed until morninq `

& i cabbed home , late for school `

qeez `

drinkinq is stupid `

but it's th only way t take my mind off you `

i hate myself `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Saturday, June 11

iphone frontcam's quality; suck my dick

@ liquid with lil brother `

Saturday niqht `

metup w lance kor & michael `

lil bro met me too (; `

wentover t Janice's BBQ after work `

bouqht her a cutecake (; `

probably th only one that cauqht my eye `

small, simple, but th rest, seriously phail `

so we went over & met qary uncle & jason there `

stayed for awhile before leavinq for drinks `

was cauqht in th decision of drinkinq, or slackinq `

considerinq that there's no transportation for th niqht `

not much activities either, so we went t drink @ liquid qold `

was kind of fun, drinkinq, watchinq them sinq `

& playinq cards, everyth was qreat `

until i thouqht about him `

i just started cryinq as he held me `

told me t stop cryinq & all `

then i ordered another tower `

kill th thouqhts `

some bullshitty idea; i ended up vomitinq on my boots `

-.- after i vomited everyth, continued drinkinq `

was a happy qirl aqain, but i was really tired `

qary&jason came t meet me after i nearly KO-ed `

was just sleepy `

Jason was really pissed off w me that niqht ;'( `

he scolded me for drinkinq, askinq if tht's qoinq t work `

yes, i know i'm suicidinq, but it's better then thinkinq `

cry th pain away, they qot into some dispute `

thanks Lance kor, for settlinq my retarded problem `

& my dearest lil brother, for sacrificinq your sleep for me `

holdinq me when i vomit & all `

after we finished everyth, & they didn't want t qo home `

we headed down t neverland for round 2`

ordered another tower & continue `

i miss that place, where we used t hanqout weekly `

it's been so lonq, it ended soon `

but i was calm, at least `

cabbed home at 7 `

thanks for sendinq me home, lun `

have no idea what i'd have done at home `

thanks for beinq there, uncle `

3 years, thanks for takinq care of me all th way `

thanks Mike, for tryinq `

but, i'm scared of men, really `

& my dearest lil brother, for always, beinq there `

sacrificinq your sleep, your relationship & all `

thanks kor, for talkinq t me `

& you, for everyth you've ever done for me `

baby come back t me `

i'd be all that you need `

let me make up for what happen `

& come back, baby come back t me `

cant stop thinkinq of you `

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Tuesday, June 7

happy forth monthsary my dearest kenson `

i love you, & i miss you drastically i'm practically dyinq `

even after last niqht's heartbreakinq texts `

i quess i still am holdinq t every sinqle bit left `

hurtinq much, no one's qoinq t hold me in their arms `

& say everyth's qoinq t be alriqht `

qwen & scarlet took me out today `

they made me smile for awhile `

but when i went home, i couldn't take it `

i cried, i went out for a spin, i came home `

& cried myself t bed

-lauqhs- `

weakbitch, i know

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝

♥ Sunday, June 5

she tells me t break up w you `

& yet you're sidinq her `

what qood is this `

lauqhs, blame it on my stupidity

{　♥ ; screwinq up th best thinq ever is something you'll regret forever `　｝