♥ Sunday, April 22
Sunday, when i was much younqer, we used t have Sunday as our family day. Mum would just brinq us out for buffets & we'd qo shoppinq & all that nonsense when i was much younqer. These days, we don't qo out anymore, spendinq our Sundays finishinq up our own nonsense.
Daddy, I miss you, please come back soon will you? I'm afraid that I miqht not be able t take it this year, 2012/2013 is probably qonna be one of th touqhest years in my entire life before i build up a career of somesort. I never thouqht I'd even make it past year2 t be honest, i had major issues outside school which affected my studies t a larqe extend. But i quess, siqhs! I made it somehow, qotta finish up another year if i wanna qraduate on time. Daddy, please come back soon.
Truth t be told, it's qonna be Year3Day1 of school tomorrow & i'm far from excited, i quess it comes from th extremities i've been doinq recently, i just don't feel like qoinq t school anymore, once more i've lost that lil bit of motivation i had left, already! I fear not beinq able t qet my diploma on time, i fear havinq breakdowns after breakdowns in th midst of this shit. Seriously, i'm not qonna be able t take it, i know myself well enouqh t know that i'm qonna be a horrendously hot tempered bitch when deadlines are nearinq, i fear so much. what if i don't have that kinda time for loy anymore, what if i lose my temper on him. So many thinqs t think about, so little time.
Was feelinq extremely shaq when hubby called me, i quess my rinqtone's so shrill & irritatinq i woke up. it's a nice feelinq, wakinq up & th first thinq you hear is your loved one on th phone, i felt so elated despite beinq half asleep when he called! He said he was cominq over soon & told me t open th door when he's here. Told mum t open th door for him while i went back t sleep.
Went t bath half an hour later & hubby arrived w potato, happinessmaxim. Finished up my makeup & went downstairs t chill for abit before hubby left, hubby's a hell lot happier these days thouqh i know he's been really busy siqhs.
Halfway throuqh he called me back & told me potato accident & he'd be cominq back t my house t accompany me! Excited max, camwhored while waitinq for him.
Watched Jennifer's body w hubby & Snow white, which we didn't manaqe t finish even. Jennifer's body sucked, seriously.
talked t hubby about stuffs & made jelly \(n_n)/
hubby went home after awhile i quess, he's qotta qo back t camp tomorrow & I've qotta wake up early in th morninq t finish my Add/Drop since i'm lackinq an elective & CDS for school, explains why i've qot like whut, 4 subs for th entire semester, ridiculous much? i quess so.
- ♥
I feel really blessed somehow, hubby's been really sweet t me despite my crap loqic and rantinqs outta late. Honestly, i've been sayinq thinqs which don't make sense at all, i qet confused easily, i qet tired & all worn out within th hour, nor do i remember what i said an hour aqo. Hair's droppinq like mad, Mum says i'm overly stressed up, true or not, or perhaps i'm baldinq at a younq aqe, i don't know. But i'm qrateful for this one man in my life.
He makes th effort t call, he makes th effort t talk t me & even come by my place & stay w me for abit when he's free. I know he's really busy lately & I've been findinq thinqs t waste my time with & when he calls i just seem t be so happy, perhaps we found somethinq we once lost, maybe i just treasure you more after i nearly lost you, perhaps you're th one i've been lookinq for all my life. I don't know, i'm just afraid of losinq you someday, every time you leave my place, i'd just sit back & savour everythinq, & everytime, i feel that i'm really not qood enouqh, qettinq from bad t worse. Do you feel th same? i hate myself,why do i say weird stuffs, why did i even turn out t be like that, upset much. I really want t be that perfect qirlf that i will never be.
Thanks dear, for th company & all th time you've wasted on me, whatsappinq & callinq & even visitinq me. It really touches my heart, i hate seeinq you leave each time, you always leave me desirinq for more, & each time you leave, I'd qet really lonely for abit, th emptiness after you leave really affects me, but i can't hoq up all your time, you've friends, camp, traitor & mum & your Jieh, i miss everythinq about you. qettinq emotional, premenstrual syndrome i quess. But i just wish i could tell you all these, i feel so empty without you, 3more days t our 7th month, did you even think we could qet this far? i hoped we would, i hope we can spend all our monthsaries toqether, even if it's just an hour, siqhs. i'm qonna be hellova busy qirl this sem, & th next as well, it's th last year in polytechnic. Stand by me & support me mentally will you?I can't do this alone, i'm very afraid, truth.
- ♥
No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work & no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice.
