♥ Monday, April 30
Fatcheeks is meh ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
Okay, confession niqht
I'm just missinq Boyfriend, haven't texted him today yet, probably cause I slept half th day & th other half, spent in school doinq discussions w lecturer. Honestly speakinq, I think he's a really qood Boyfriend, someone whom I wouldn't hesitate t pick if qiven another choice, somehow.
He's just different from th rest of th men I've been with, he's not your typical romantic arsehole who adores women w flowers or presents, he's overly straiqhtforward, somethinq which i adore & most men seem t have a problem with. No idea why but most of th men I know tend t beat around th bush, not w Boyf thouqh. Thouqh it still hurts me when he scolds me Fuck you, ohwell.
I believe that such men are more trustworthy than th typical romantic, probably because of past experiences & skeptical judqinq from my part aye. It's quite easy t please me, a lil company, probably stayovers & just cuddlinq while watchinq a movie, qoinq out for dinner or hanqinq out at LAN shops, even walkinq aimlessly in town appeals t me. Thouqh what I'd really, really like t do would be t qo overseas & enjoy some siqhtseeinq & have some fun. Hiqhly tempted t qo t Malaysia's waterpark & recreational some day w Boyf but I think that's a faraway thouqht! Boyf's still in NS & I've about a year & over left in Polytechnic.
Been talkinq t Gwen recently, it was then did I realize that perhaps I didn't want t enroll in a Sinqapore University either, no idea if I'm qonna enroll in a Sinqapore one or an overseas branch, Daddy said he'd buy me a car if I enrolled into University, cheesy much but Daddy has always delivered his promises. So i quess my plan would be t enroll into somethinq I'm more interested in just for th car's sake, qonna tell Daddy I want a MRS because Love likes it, so yeah. Selfish car but at least there's space for both of us.
No idea if I can even pass by licence, lauqhs. Boyf & brothers have been struqqlinq just t teach me th siqns which I'm seriously not interested in, miqht flip abit tomorrow thouqh!
Beinq away from Love sets me thinkinq on th down side, & th up side of course. Mainly that he's qonna start work after he ORD & I'm probably qonna do th same after qraduation. Not that I want t but I just can't imaqine th niqht that I'd qraduate from Polytechnic! Hopinq that Love would still be here t watch me qraduate, I fear th worst but he's been here for me, throuqh my lousy education & shit works for th past semester, watchinq me rise after I fell really badly.
I know I've been temperamental, probably due t th heat & school work's killinq me, wouldn't be surprised if th first few strands of white hairs appear upon my crown a few months later, I'm really upset about myself. I feel that I've let Love down somehow, I promised t chanqe for th better, no more fiqhts, no more wishy washy attitude & stop th childish shits I've been doinq. Still on my way t a better me but Chanqe doesn't happen overniqht.
It's touqh if I were t ask him t overlook my faults too, everyone has faults, can't expect th best of them t appear overniqht riqht. I just hope he'd continue t support me in everythinq & accompany me whenever & wherever he cans, still a lil jealous about his friends especially that damn potato who probably hoqs 60% of his free time, qood life livinq so near him.
Siqhs, hope he's feelinq well now. It's too much t ask him t treat me better but ohwell. Aite, qonna put an eyemask & bed. Gotta rush out another report on Maserati tomorrow or I'd be seriously screwed for th damn module, qoodniqhts.
Love, I miss you, sorry for my temperamental bullshits. I stopped, but stuff sets me thinkinq.
