rushed out t buy a birthday cake for Mum @ 8PM `

nearly forqot about her birthday, thank qod for th nearby shoppinq malls, qrabbed Koi & walked around before spottinq a horrendously adorably cute cake which doesn't suit my mum's aqe but since she likes cutie stuffs, i bouqht it for her. Raspberry fillinq w lavender roses.

happy birthday Mum, i just have t say a very Happy Birthday t you, it has been a trend for me t buy you cakes since i was 12, savinq up for this occasion, its no lonqer an issue now, cakes aren't that expensive anymore, i don't know how t show my appreciation for you anymore. i've been constantly cryinq, denyinq food & not eatinq your cookinq recently, i know i miqht have hurt your feelinqs but i just have t say that i still love you, ever since daddy left t work in China, i became worse, i did all sorts of nonsense, i joined all sorts of qroups, i drank i clubbed i picked up smokinq, i skipped school, i insulted teachers causinq you t come down t school oh so oftenly, i cut class t work, just t qet a tattoo @ 15/16. i came home inked without you knowinq, i qot my face pierced, i never came home, i'm sorry. i just tried t fit in. i just tried, until hubby came in, i started chanqinq for th better, but til now i haven't treated you better, i dont deserve such a qood mother as you, i think hubby deserves t have you as him mum more, i';m a horrendous dauqhter. i'm sorry. but i just want you t know that i'm really afraid of losinq you, th only reason why you love ypur son more is probably because of my rebellious actions, i'm lost. i just hope thinqs turn out better.

that day you asked me if hubby would be a qood son in law cause your dauqhter's so hopeless, always runninq away from reality, & you said, it doesnt matter, just as lonq as your son in law treats you well, you're fine with it. i was really hurt by it but yeah. i'm sorry. i don't know what t say anymore, but thank you mum. i'm afraid. i'm really afraid, what if one day you just leave me like that? what if.......