♥ Friday, March 2
Le Siqhs, qwenny's leavinq th country for 6months plus plus, i'm not sure how i'm qonna survive without her since she has always been th one who has been supportinq me from behind since i was fifteen. I'm feelinq rather nauseous from th lack of sleep, & a temperature seems t be up, which explains my pale tone in th pictures. I was bored, & i was missinq hubby really badly, thus xiaozhan's my new camwhore buddy.
qwenny texted me askinq me if i wanted t qo out for abit before she left, so yes, definately, it was rather late when i met up with her, rouqhly around 10 plusplus, met up with her, scarlett & a friend of theirs, kinda sweet qirl & they decided that they wanted t drink. I was stuck with th decision of sayinq no, and th promise i made t hubby.
We found a spot & brouqht out a martell, with coke as th mixer. it's kinda lame if you're qonna read what i'm qonna post here, but i hope Scarlett doesn't see this. So they opened th forbidden thinq & i started pourinq a full qlass of coke into my qlass innocently in th hope that they would think i was drinkinq alcohol, haha, i know riqht, but afterall i promised hubby. le siqhs. So my 100% coke plan was a rather successful plan riqht up til Scarlett brouqht out th shotqlasses. Well, then i had th idea t just pass around th shotqlass she qave me to qwenny & her friend until qwenny decided that she wanted t walk around, leavinq me & Scarlet alone. so yes, you'd probably have quessed th outcome, okay, a few shotqlasses is nothinq, but i died after th 2nd qlass, funnily. Afterall, i'd stopped drinkinq for about half a year, I don't really touch alcohol despite my tweets, those are bullshit.
I quess th worse part was when my liqhter dropped in th toilet bowl when i attempted t just camp in th cubicle, i was fuckinq pissed off for it was th only liqhter i brouqht. Shit happens, really. So i went back & sat with Scarlett, when hubby texted me. I mean, i couldn't have lied t hubby, so i told him th truth, i know i shouldve told him earlier but, i don't know anymore. He qot really pissed off, but i was beinq honest. Siqhs. I was fine riqht up til someone brouqht over shitty fries, i vomitted immediately after that, i promised hubby t qo over, i hate myself so fuckinq much now le siqhs.
qwenny walked me up back t my home, i'm qrateful for her, i died on th floor below my bed, with my full set of makeup on. didn't qet any photos w her & th qirls. hubby's really mad now, i'm quilty as hell, i should've just told qwenny i wasn't well. i let him down aqain, i hope you don't judqe me based on this post, afterall everyone makes mistakes, & would you deny a bestfriend's meetup if shes leavinq th country in a few days?
well truth t be told, i'm still quilty about hubby, i haven't accompanied him this week yet, Siqhs, i don't have th face t talk t him anymore, i'm a horrid qirlf, i deserve t be hated, i'd probably lost his trust already, but hubby, i just want you t know i tried, i tried t keep my promise t you, i know i'm not responsible but i swear i quitted for you, siqhs. it's not that i don't want t talk t you anymore, i'm just so quilty, i fear irritatinq you.
but i really miss th times where i was your top priority, when all your time was qiven t me, i miss everythinq we had, i'd trade in anythinq for those times t come back, i need you siqhs. i don't care how hard times are qonna be, i'm willinq, siqhs. i miss you hubby, i hope you forqive me for my insolence, but i'm so lost without you
