♥ Saturday, November 19
i think i'd just bloq this now `
because if i do it later i'm not qonna remember `
& i think this is really a wake-up-call for myself `
it's about 8AM now & i just qot up `
naturally one would think it is normal `
but th truh is, i just qot back about 2 hours aqo `
& i only fell sleep a lil after seven `
i shocked myself awake about a few minutes aqo `
i'm tremblinq from this shit `
it would have been better if i went back w Boyf `
i just realized how foreiqn my bed feels now `
-lauqhs- i adapted t aloy's huqs & bed - dead `
well truth t be told, i actually suicided in my dreams `
i thouqht it was real, for real in reality `
i had this stronq feelinq that aloy was meetinq someone `
but i tried t be open minded, i'm still tryinq in reality `
afterall, Scorpios do have trust issues `
so i attempted t qo back t bed `
considerinq th dream time was somewhat similar `
about 7 plus when th sun started shininq `
well, in this dream, there was a loophole `
my bro was ridinq a 2A bike `
while i seemed t have sufficient knowledqe on how t ride `
kinda wronq but i just had this feel t find my Boyf `
so i somehow lended biqbro's helmet since he wasn't home `
& i rode down t qoldenmile, don't ask me why `
my dream beinq is seriously, just wronq `
i quess i was so terrified that i was qonna lose him `
i don't exactly remember what triqqered th shit out `
but i do know it was somethinq online `
so i chanqed, & went down & i didn't know which bike was mine `
& i saw biqbro's bumblebee, so i just took it `
somehow, i manaqed t ride it all th way t qolden mile `
i don't remember seeinq Boyf or maybe i did, i don't know `
i just know, somewhere in between `
i fiqured i probably couldn't take th blow anyway `
& i just rode down t somewhere i don't remember either `
and somewhere in between i just suicided `
i cut into some speedinq huqelorry's lane `
qt banqed, flew & i jerked up `
woke up in friqht, cryinq aqain `
i don't know why i cried either `
i mean, in there i attempted suicide `
so i should've been happy eh `
but th first thinq i did was t check my phone `
everythinq was as it was when i was still sane `
& i realized how much i missed him `
how lil trust i had, if i could just put in more effort `
i would probably not have bothered qoinq down GM `
it's just stupid, -siqhs- `
my dear Boyf's probably sleepinq `
tellinq him what happened is just plain stupid `
he doesn't have t hear me whininq about stupid niqhtmares `
so my poor bloq's qonna have t listen t my crap aqain `
mum's just lyinq there sleepinq `
i can't sleep, i'm so tired but i don't want t face another niqhtmare `
i can't take it, i'm some stupid weakshit `
i told her about my niqhtmare, without th GM part `
she says i'm beinq crazy, no such thinq `
& it's not qonna happen, & i tweaked it a lil `
i said car accident, & she told me `
then don't take car licence lor `
qoodqame, -siqhs- `
dear, i need you ;(
because if i do it later i'm not qonna remember `
& i think this is really a wake-up-call for myself `
it's about 8AM now & i just qot up `
naturally one would think it is normal `
but th truh is, i just qot back about 2 hours aqo `
& i only fell sleep a lil after seven `
i shocked myself awake about a few minutes aqo `
i'm tremblinq from this shit `
it would have been better if i went back w Boyf `
i just realized how foreiqn my bed feels now `
-lauqhs- i adapted t aloy's huqs & bed - dead `
well truth t be told, i actually suicided in my dreams `
i thouqht it was real, for real in reality `
i had this stronq feelinq that aloy was meetinq someone `
but i tried t be open minded, i'm still tryinq in reality `
afterall, Scorpios do have trust issues `
so i attempted t qo back t bed `
considerinq th dream time was somewhat similar `
about 7 plus when th sun started shininq `
well, in this dream, there was a loophole `
my bro was ridinq a 2A bike `
while i seemed t have sufficient knowledqe on how t ride `
kinda wronq but i just had this feel t find my Boyf `
so i somehow lended biqbro's helmet since he wasn't home `
& i rode down t qoldenmile, don't ask me why `
my dream beinq is seriously, just wronq `
i quess i was so terrified that i was qonna lose him `
i don't exactly remember what triqqered th shit out `
but i do know it was somethinq online `
so i chanqed, & went down & i didn't know which bike was mine `
& i saw biqbro's bumblebee, so i just took it `
somehow, i manaqed t ride it all th way t qolden mile `
i don't remember seeinq Boyf or maybe i did, i don't know `
i just know, somewhere in between `
i fiqured i probably couldn't take th blow anyway `
& i just rode down t somewhere i don't remember either `
and somewhere in between i just suicided `
i cut into some speedinq huqelorry's lane `
qt banqed, flew & i jerked up `
woke up in friqht, cryinq aqain `
i don't know why i cried either `
i mean, in there i attempted suicide `
so i should've been happy eh `
but th first thinq i did was t check my phone `
everythinq was as it was when i was still sane `
& i realized how much i missed him `
how lil trust i had, if i could just put in more effort `
i would probably not have bothered qoinq down GM `
it's just stupid, -siqhs- `
my dear Boyf's probably sleepinq `
tellinq him what happened is just plain stupid `
he doesn't have t hear me whininq about stupid niqhtmares `
so my poor bloq's qonna have t listen t my crap aqain `
mum's just lyinq there sleepinq `
i can't sleep, i'm so tired but i don't want t face another niqhtmare `
i can't take it, i'm some stupid weakshit `
i told her about my niqhtmare, without th GM part `
she says i'm beinq crazy, no such thinq `
& it's not qonna happen, & i tweaked it a lil `
i said car accident, & she told me `
then don't take car licence lor `
qoodqame, -siqhs- `
dear, i need you ;(
