♥ Saturday, December 25
sometimes its not about love `
sometimes its about how much you care `
& how much you're willinq to sacrifice `
it's about what you say, & what you do `
i'm really hurt `
but would you know? would you care? `
how much have i sacrificed for you `
how far have i went for you `
do you see it, i quess not `
i'm sick, & extremely tired `
you took me out day & niqht until i'm so deprived of sleep `
i enjoyed it, but not day after day `
i too, am human, i too, deserve sleep `
i really hate my life `
do you know ? i'm not dumb enouqh to suicide yet `
but i'm tired of livinq `
you don't talk to me anymore `
at least i have lil bro & XINXIN , you know `
they'd qo after me no matter what `
would you ? i quess not `
instead you'd joke around with my friends `
excellent `
sometimes i reqret not drawinq a clear line `
you know th thinq about me `
when i'm in charqe, never try to take over `
it'd never work out for you `
trust me when i say so `
never try to ruin my plans `
you're just ruininq your day `
never once in 3 years have my quys seen me so anqry `
it's only this year, & i daresay i know why `
-siqhs- ` forqet it `
i'm in no position to say all these `
but it's my bloq, remember? `
it hurts alot, watchinq you disturb my qans, even `
th way you force thinqs `
th way you disturb my lil brother & lil sister `
kinda fucked up `
but what can i say `
have you ever wondered why i'm so close to lil brother `
i'm not supposed to be but somehow or rather, i am `
he understands me despite his aqe `
-lauqhs- ` i wish you'd love me th way i wanted you too `
i wish you'd understand me th way lil bro does `
wishes don't come true `
-lauqhs- i know, cause for th past 6 months `
none of th wishes i've made came true `
when i'm anqry, i speak th truth `
i hate you, but i love you too `
i'd rather say it infront of my friends, rather then yours `
why are you embarrassed `
i should be th one isn't it `
i qo out my quys `
my boyf qoes with my quys `
leaves me alone & when i qo missinq `
i qet th scoldinqs `
for everythinq i do i qet th blame `
shouldnt i be more embarrassed ? `
my boyf scolds me infront of my dear sister ;) `
even when i merely went to th toilet `
it's not fair , lauqhs `
im so hurt, i feel th urqe to cry `
but i just cant cause youre not worth it anymore `
i'm just really curious `
why's it always XINXIN & damien who's qoinq after me ? `
why, why's it never you, my boyfriend `
i quess i already qave up by th time you said `
" than jiu bu yao zai yi qi lor " `
i qave up, i wanted to cry but th tears just dont come anymore `
instead i had nextchill hubby & lil brother Damien `
th last comforts of my life `
i quess i'm preparinq myself for sinqlehood `
every sinqle thinq that happens, i qet th blame `
what th fuck is wronq with you `
i'm your qirlfriend, not your scapeqoat `
& don't tell me to stop smokinq `
cause it's you that made me do it `
for its th only way to stop th tears `
i'm stupid `
i know `
so bye `
