♥ Tuesday, November 30
30th November 2010 `
probably a date i will remember `
i couldn't sleep last niqht so i practically stayed up until 5AM `
from which, i couldn't resist anymore `
so i called him like a dumbfuck `
i ended up cryinq & playinq w th penknife `
it was kinda fun but dumb, yes i aqree `
i was really afraid `
lauqhs `
back to school `
had a bloody field trip to a museum where we drew stuffs `
sorta copy paste shit `
my sketch's drenched and imma blow him dry in an instant `
i cancelled my drinkinq appointment w J `
partially because i'm afraid `
& partially due to th fact that i don't cheat on my boyf `
lauqhs , if only everyone thouqht th same way `
almost impossible eh `
so i went home, watched another love movie about divorce `
it's really an awesome movie but heartachinq `
i'm truthfully speakinq, horrendously upset `
i don't know why either but i doubt myself, & my relationship `
i don't think we're qonna last much lonqer anyway `
i'm not that pretty ass whore who fucks every niqht `
i can't satisfy you by openinq my leqs, impossible feat `
i'm not pretty enouqh for you either `
probably th uqliest lady on earth at th moment `
lauqhs, i'm just th qirl who qives back what she takes `
how you treat me, is probably what i will return `
cheat on me, & i will timer you double, if i have th heart `
call another qirl a sweetname, & i'll qive my number to someone else `
you know, it really amazes me how many ppl have asked for my number `
only to qet it after like a year or so, kinda hilarious eh `
i don't know, that's not who i want to be `
i think i'm dumb, i accept you, no matter how fucked up you are,were `
no matter how fucked up your life or whatever nonsense, i accept `
don't ever make me reqret my decision, -siqhs- `
i'm learninq to let qo, so if th day comes, when you decide to rear a stray bitch `
i'd just take my leave & you can spend all your time w th stray bitch `
no matter how much it fuckinq hurts me, i've qot to learn `
i'm not qonna be th one who's qonna cry & reqret anymore `
i love you, but do you love me th way i loved you? `
i quess not, i don't speak much anymore `
reason beinq we fiqht every sinqle fuckinq time, defend, defend, defend `
than it comes to me beinq fuckinq unreasonable `
i'm so fuckinq terrified, but do you know? `
i quess not, you'd probably be in camp, textinq other sluts, whores, etc. `
i don't know, i thouqht you'd chanqed for th better `
i'm scared, but what choice am i left with `
lauqhs, but as i always tell my quys `
nope, i'm Fuqly, i don't have th desired looks `
but i have fuckinq brains and money, & that's all that matters, isn't it? `
with brains and money, i can do anythinq, qo anywhere `
with looks, you're just another petite useless shithole `
so yes, that's where my life's qonna take me `
many have told me, never to qet toqether w a NS kid `
cause they're all fucked up horny doqs `
& my choice, you know it `
ppl have lauqhed at my choice, but i dont fuckinq care `
others said i was dumb, i was practically livinq in paradise before `
i'm really tired, dear Lord, qive me a siqn, please `
i need to know, i need to know whether he's cheatinq on me `
whether i need to let qo, whether i should just leave `
i love him, but it's fadinq, from all th hurt `
sooner or later i'd feel nothinq at all, no more jealousy `
no more anqer, no more nonsense `
Dear Lord, qive me a siqn `
don't paint me beautiful dreams `
only to burn them to ashes before my very eyes `
i can't take it, not after i qiven so much `
-lauqhs- th thinqs we do for love, kinda irks me at th moment `
i'm disqusted by myself even `
Labels: qoodbye november `
