♥ Friday, September 18
yesterday `
first `i want to admit how fuckinq stupid i am `
-lauqhs- `
PE -_- `
i passed th entire set on first round `
& qeikianq on th second `
i didn't have to do th fuckinq retest `
but i did it anyway `
like last term `
i did th fuckinq rerun `
& i thouqht `
since i passed `
its okay to slack `
just pei people run lor -_- `
qeikianq riqht `
then fail seh `
then leonq tell me rerun leh `
wakao T_T `
-siqhs- `
sian 1/2 `
leonq was kind `
let me run in my purple FBT -_- `
hmph `
i enjoy amath `
know why `
cus i don've to take part `
ha ;D so yeah `
felt so stressed up `
felt so stressed up `
you're thinkinq `
i don't even study `
so how th fuck can i feel stress `
-lauqhs- `
but no ; it's not that `
so yeah `
brouqht my homework out `
laopo was kind `
accompanied me ;/ `
study `
not that he's any qood `
he hasn't been in school for years `
so yeah `
purposely ordered milo icecream for him `
funny quy `
he hates milo icecream ;/ `
so yeah `
& chocolate icecream ;/ `
someone's th exact opposite ;/ `
-siqhs- `
so yeah `
i ordered th shortcake shit `
tasted like shit honestly `
we both aqreed oreo mcflurry was th best `
-lauqhs- `
he lauqhed at my stupidity `
& cause of him `
i didn't do my chinese properly `
endinq it off with less then 100 words `
-lauqhs- `
definately qonna qet scolded `
i miss MsLiao -lauqhs- `
so yeah `
didn't finish anythinq `
-siqhs- `
was just talkinq to laopo `
;/ about you `
pros & cons `
-lauqhs- `
causes & results `
i stained my TYS[emath] `
it's qot black tear marks now `
mascara & eyeliner `
-lauqhs- `
i practically broke down `
-siqhs- `
th last thinq i want to do riqht now `
is to leave you `
& th second last thinq i want to do riqht now `
is to hurt you `
& th third last thinq i want to do riqht now `
is to see you upset `
how much would i qive up `
just to see you smile `
-lauqhs- `
my entire life ; perhaps `
i don't know `
laopo freaked out ;/ `
but i didn't tell him why `
-lauqhs- `
was just thinkinq & thinkinq `
such dire consequences `
addinq on `
i've heard `
after that day that i khup-ed your phone `
i know you tried callinq everyone `
-lauqhs- `
askinq where i am `
i'm sorry `
chanq was kind `
tellinq me stuffs `
everyone was sweet la `
askinq me what's wronq `
-lauqhs- `
but yeah `
i'm really sorry `
it's not you `
it's me `
-lauqhs- `
i don't know `
i know you're probably th bestest Boyf `
in my lifetime perhaps `
th most carinq `
th most lovinq `
th most self sacrificinq `
unlike me ; obstinate piq `
-lauqhs- `
losinq you'd be th biqqest reqret of my life `
i know that `
-siqhs- `
you're like th first quy i can cry for within seconds `
& you wouldn't cry infront of a quy `
for another quy `
it's just so wronq `
oh wow `
-siqhs- `
i don't enjoy breakinq your heart `
but i'm afraid `
very fuckinq afraid `
there's just so much i haven't told you `
so much we haven't done `
i wish you were th one with me riqht now `
th one who's hearinq my complains `
th one who's counsellinq me `
th one who's holdinq me when i'm cryinq `
th one who's brinqinq me out every weekend `
th one who's callinq me whenever i need a listeninq ear `
th one who's watchinq me do my homework `
th one who's controllinq my nonsencial shit `
th one who's movie marathoninq with me `
th one who's encouraqinq me `
th one who's always surprisinq me `
-siqhs- `
such faraway dreams `
so unrealistic `
-lauqhsoutloud- `
i don't qive a fuck about her knowinq anymore `
it doesn't matter `
you do `
i'm still waitinq `
34 days `
don't worry `
i'd definately still be here `
awaitinq `
& keepinq th promise i made `
if i was qonna die tomorrow `
i'd request from th kind heavens above `
for just 24 hours more to spend with you `
just before i leave this world `
that's just how much i love you `
so many thinqs i'd qive up `
just to chanqe reality `
-lauqhs- `
dearest Boyf ; 腾政`
i'd love you willinqly for th rest of my life `
but you know that's not possible `
-lauqhs- `
- ♥ `today `
as predicted `
those who skipped th mock qot into trouble `
;/ a wonder we didn't skip `
thank qod `
qot a cutshort emath lesson `
awesome `
i didn't finish th entire book yet `
& as predicted `
qot scolded for chinese `
-lauqhs- `
what'd you expect `
so yeah `
i promised to rewrite `
actually `
i felt fuckinq dissappointed with myself `
for writinq such a ridiculous letter `
it's true `
i felt disqusted at my own laziness `
that's how pathetic my letter was `
will rewrite letter really soon `
d&t was short `
& awesome `
-lauqhs- `
i'm definately qonna bloq this `
-_- `
i think i'm becominq more&more like laopo `
laopo doesn't SMS much `
just phonecalls `
i qot that disease of his -_- `
i'm so not qonna reply redundant SMSes `
includinq `
askinq me what i'm doinq ?! `
privacy people `
& LOLinq at me `
3 letter L O L `
hey `
SMSes aren't that cheap `
don't expect me to reply that `
lauqhinq at me for nothinq `
jesuschrist `
what's wronq with you people `
don't miss call me either `
-_- `
i only accept calls `
no urqency ; don't find me `
i'm not that free okays `
so yeah `
SMS if you need someone to talk to `
you're emoinq or somethinq `
dont SMS me 3 words either E M O `
i qet annoyed `
& i won't reply if i don't see a need `
other then th SMS thinq `
i realized i started talkinq like him `
oh wow `
bad siqn `
-siqhs- `
today `
my body had problems ; aqain `
oh wow `
even qwen noticed `
i'd this lil dots ;/ `
not measles `
just random allerqy like rashes `
not itchy `
but if you noticed ;/ `
i haven't eaten anythinq lately `
i mean it ;/ `
just drink water & all `
so can't be allerqic -_- `
& can't be dirty riqht `
i bath in th morninq one leh `
;/ so yeah `
those of you who know it `
yeah ;/ `
same conclusion `
it's linked `
everythinq i'm sayinq `
hopinq to qive Boyf a clue `
to what's happeninq to me `
but i quess he won't quess `
i left behind clues `
it's like playinq treasure hunt `
i need a psychiatrist `
seriously `
so yeah `
felt super unwell ;/ `
tired and all `
-siqhs- `
idk `
somethinq's wronq with me `
it's either my mental state `
or physical state `
;/ -siqhs- `
save me please ;/ `
-lauqhs- `
such stupidity `
Labels: thats just how much i love you `
